COD LIVER OIL AND ORANGE JUICE
As sung by Hamish Imlach
(transcribed from record by Nigel Gatherer)

Well oot o' the East there came a hard man
Oh-ho, a' the way frae Brigton?
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Well he went intae a pub and he come oot paralytic
Oh, VP and cider                         |VP is rum or sherry, I think
Ah-ha, what a hell of a mixture
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Sex rears its ugly head...)
Does this bus go tae the Dennistoun Palais?
Oh-ho, I'm lookin' fur a lumber          |looking for a woman [1]
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Eyes up the talent, and lo and behold...)
In the dancin' he met Hairy Mary,
Oh, the flooer o' the Gorbals            |flower
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Chats he up...)
Aw noo Mary, are ye dancin'?
"Oh no, it's just the way I'm staunin'"  |standing
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Rebuffed!)
Well then, Mary, yer one in a million,
"Oh-ho, so's yer chances!"
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Rebuffed again!)
Well then Mary, can I run ye hame?
Oh-ho, I've got a pair of sandshoes,     
"A ha-ha, ye're hell of a funny!"
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

(spoken: Never say die. Sways aboot nonchalantly, 
 picking his nails with a bayonet. An' he knocks her off...)
Well, doon through the back-close, an' intae the dunny,   |[2]
Oh-ho, it wasnae fur the first time,                      |wasn't
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Then oot came her mammy - she was goin' tae the cludgie,  |[3]
Oh-ho, I buggered off sharpish,
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Noo Hairy Mary's lookin' for her hard man,
Oh-ho, he's jined the Foreign Legion           |joined
Ah-ha, Sahara unner ra camels,                 |under the camels
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

Then Hairy Mary's had a little baby
Oh-ho, its faither's in the army
Ah-ha, glory hallelujah
Cod liver oil and the orange juice

[1] = an approximation. If you're looking for a lumber (or a "bag-off"),
you're out for the night hoping to hook up with a member off the opposite
sex with a view to having a (often temporary) sexual liaison.
[2] = dunny: a passage or basement in a tenement building.
[3] = cludgie: an outside toilet in a tenement building