FOOTBALL CRAZY

Thit was my favourite single when I was a boy. Now, I'm looking through my
record collection and, although I've got eight Robin hall & Jimmie
MacGregor LPs, none of them feature that song; typical!

I have two versions of the song, both quite different. I think the first
one, from 'Something to Sing' (Cambridge 1965) is closer to the Hall &
MacGregor one. However, it's a more anglicised version than the one I
remember (and the commentary in the book says it's an Irish song!):
......................................

FOOTBALL CRAZY

1. I have a favourite brother
   And his Christian name is Paul.
   He's lately joined a football club 
   For he's mad about football.
   He's two black eyes already
   And teeth lost from his gob,
   Since Paul became a member of 
   That terrible football club.

CHORUS: For he's football crazy. he's football mad.
        The football it has taken away 
        The little bit o' sense he had.
        And it would take a dozen servants 
        To wash his clothes and scrub
        Since Paul became a member of that 
        Terrible football club.

2. In the middle of the field one afternoon
   The captain says, 'Now Paul,
   Would you kindly take this place-kick
   Since you're mad about football?
   So he took forty paces backwards,
   Shot off from the mark.
   The ball went sailing over the bar
   And landed in New Yark.

3. His wife she says she'll leave him
   If Paulie doesn't keep
   Away from football kicking
   At night-time in his sleep.
   He calls out 'Pass, McGinty!'
   And other things so droll
   Last night he kicked her out of bed
   And swore it was a goal!

......................................
My memory isn't filling in the changes between this version and Hall &
MacGregor's - I don't think these were exactly the words, but they're not
far away. These words, while I loved them as a boy, don't quite satisfy;
there's something not quite right about phrases such as "And other things
so droll...". I don't know.

The second version is from Alex Campbell, and while they're not as
polished, I find them more satifactory, more down-to-earth, more
/Glasgow/, if you like (which is where I grew up). It's from Campbell's
book 'Frae Glesca Toon' (Essex, 1964):
......................................

FITBA' CRAZY

CHORUS: He's fitba crazy, he's gone clean mad,
        Fitba's gone and robbed him o' the wee bit sense he had.
        It would tak' a washer woman his claithes tae rub and scrub,
        Since oor Jock became a member o' that terrible fitba' club.

1. The first match that he went to play I went to see masel',
   They had two hauf bricks for goalposts,
   And a tin can for the ba',
   The Band of Hope was present and all they did was stare,
   An' when Jock broke his wooden leg they didnae seem to care.

(CHORUS)

2. Aye he's fitba' crazy he's gone clean daft,
   Since he started playing fitba' his heid has gone right saft,
   For he willnae drink a whisky and he's never in the pub,
   Since oor Jock became a member o' that terrible fitba' club.
......................................

Nigel Gatherer