SCRIPTURES ON THE WALL by Watt Nicol (tune: Whiskey In the Jar) For a small brown penny in the slot in the door Entertain yourself for an hour there or more But for all this entertainment, I‘m very pleased to say There‘s absolutely no Entertainment Tax to pay Oh, musha ring ama do ama da Whack fol my daddy o, Whack fol my daddy o, There‘s scriptures on the wall There‘s jokes and repartee, on the walls they‘re writ By literarygents who go there to display their wit Their very famous leader, Kilroy by name He‘s been everywhere first and so gained his fame A hundred thousand curses! Now and ever more, Hang the swine who wrote at the bottom o‘ the door Whitever it was you came here to do If you‘re reading this then you‘ve done it in yer shoe I read on the walls there, a story oh so sad Of a great misfortune befell a Jewish lad On the chain he hung himself, there died broken-hearted Seems he paid a penny then the poor lad only farted There‘s some make dates for women, and some make dates for men, Some draw in pencil, and others write in pen There‘s those so industrious, they don‘t write at all They‘re the ones that drilled all those wee holes in the wall I wish that I could think of something witty and bright I‘d write it on the walls when I when I went there tonight I‘d make dates for my sister, I‘d make dates for my mum Describe my father‘s habits, aye, the big fat bugger‘s bum